I just did a response on another site to a person who had questions about what dissociation is. I'm pretty well versed in this, as I dissociated a LOT as a child (interpreted by adults as daydreaming at the time) and learning about this was important to my recovery efforts several years ago. Since I put quite a bit of time into giving the information I thought I would reprint my response, along with some additions, here; I'm sure that I would have done a post on this at some point, anyway.
Dissociation is a very common response when someone goes through trauma. You almost always find this phenomenon in someone who goes through sexual abuse, but the abuse doesn't have to fall into that category to cause dissociation. A person who dissociates originally does it while the trauma is happening because otherwise it is too painful and/or frightening, horrific, etc. to stay present in the moment. It's a survival mechanism that enables the person to go on. One reason it enables the person to go on is that it allows them to "forget" what happened. Another word for this is compartmentalizing, and there are varying degrees of severity. Everyone dissociates to a degree--anyone who has missed an exit on the freeway, for example, because of their mind being somewhere else has dissociated and this is why they miss the exit. Another example is getting lost in a good movie. These things would be on the bottom end of the spectrum. On the most extreme end you have multiple personality disorder, where the person actually assigns identities to different functions and/or emotions, and these become sort of their own entities within the person because of the way the brain wired itself to do that. In order to access the different functions they have to switch.
Somewhere in the middle is probably where a lot of abuse survivors fit. If you have repressed memories that are difficult to access, you probably dissociated and that is why you can't remember or only remember fragments. I fit into this category. When I first realized that I dissociated I was so mad. I told my therapist at the time, "I can't believe I did that; I am so stupid!" Because I could see where it played into my being so spacey growing up and it causing me other problems. I was like, "I am an idiot for doing that." My therapist said, "You are NOT stupid. It takes an extremely intelligent and creative person to think of doing that. The ones that don't dissociate from these experiences are the ones that end up insane or in prison. It is a great tool for survival, but not so much for blossoming." His point was that I did it because it was needed, and now we could work on retrieving and healing so that I could blossom more as a person. It does stunt your development to an extent.
The cool thing is that if you did dissociate, you can utilize some really cool tools in recovery that you can be really good at BECAUSE you have the ability to dissociate!
When dissociation has happened to cope with abuse, it will also happen during recovery as your subconscious brings things up and your conscious mind tries to process and access. Reminders of the time can trigger a dissociative response, as well--the taste of something that you were eating or liked as a treat at the time, fragrances that were in the air, a person who resembles the abuser or coming into contact with the abuser him/herself, a photograph, etc. It can feel very surreal. There are things you can do to ground yourself--some examples are deep breathing, keeping a polished stone in your pocket that you can rub when you feel yourself drifting and you need to stay present, etc. are examples of things you can do. For more ideas, consult your therapist since s/he will be familiar with you and your situation and can help you determine techniques that are best suited to you.
There are a few books I can recommend if you are new to this information and want to understand it better. Healing the Child Within and Memory and Abuse--both by Charles Whitfield--and Homecoming by John Bradshaw. I personally think everyone on the planet should read Healing the Child Within because EVERYONE has an inner child that is wounded in some way, and often grownups function from that wounded child mindset, even if they aren't consciously aware of it. Think of how many parents are raising extremely entitled children these days because they are filling voids that they felt as children and giving them everything they want, for example. When I first did Inner Child work I became a little alarmed when I realized I had more than one. I was afraid that it meant I had multiple personalities, but that is not the case. What I was seeing in my mind was myself at different ages when certain key things happened and I tucked them away. I can honestly say that Inner Child work has been the most beautiful part of my healing process. It can actually be a lot of fun as you find ways to nurture your Inner Child, giving yourself the love, acceptance and enjoyment that you needed when you were that young.
I do think that it is a good idea to utilize the support of a good therapist if you deal with dissociation, especially if you aren't aware of doing it or are having trouble managing it. During periods of time where repressed memories are surfacing, it is so helpful to have that extra support and guidance.
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